More Fun With News Reporting

As reported by Yahoo Sports via the AP (and destroyed by me)...The ellipses are all deletions, the bold entrys are added or changed text.  It's kind of like Mad Libs. 

A jubilant celebration...after a...dramatic win...turned rowdy in scattered sections of the city, with raucous revelers hurling rocks and bottles at officers, setting fires and jumping on vehicles.

Hundreds of police officers massed around the...arena...Thursday night, aiming to prevent a repeat of the violence that accompanied...previous celebrations.... But despite their massive presence, scattered pockets of violence erupted in neighborhoods near the arena. No major incidents were reported in the rest of the city, police said.

By Friday, police spokesman...said 38 people had been arrested. Most of the arrests were for public intoxication, while others were for vandalism and inciting a riot.

Television news footage showed several people jumping on a taxi as it attempted to leave the area near the arena.... Someone opened a rear door of the vehicle, while others rocked it back and forth. The taxi eventually made its way through the crowd and out of the area.

Television footage also showed a man being beaten and a car set on fire. And there were scattered reports of windows being broken at several businesses.

Some men ran shirtless in the street, while other people revved car engines and honked their horns in celebration. Broken glass and burnt debris lined the roads.

Mrs. Smith, lives in an apartment building not far from the arena. She said every car on her street had its windows smashed.

“When we came down here, only one window was smashed. The cops told us to go back inside, and they (revelers) smashed the other one,” Smith said.

Mrs. Jones tried to salvage what she could from her car, which was filled with shards of broken glass.

“We just wanted to see the celebration and be part of the...event. We never thought this would happen,” she said. “It’s these young people who don’t know how to behave. They cause damage to people, to the community, because they don’t know how to celebrate in a healthy way.”

...City firefighters responded to 37 incidents within a half-mile radius of the arena in a three-hour period following the game, a spokesman...said. There were 15 rubbish fires, one vegetation fire, three vehicle fires and 18 medical aid requests for people ill or injured, the spokesman...said. Eight people were transported by ambulance to hospitals. The spokesman didn’t know the nature or extent of the injuries but said some were “quite serious.”


One police officer suffered a broken nose after someone threw an object at him, the Police Chief ...said.


Shortly after the game, police declared an unlawful assembly, urging people to immediately disperse.


Revelers honked horns and yelled while emergency vehicles and police cars with their sirens blaring moved through the area. Some people set off fireworks.

Hundreds of...sheriff’s deputies were deployed to...the area, where crowds were growing, but no major problems were reported, the sheriff’s Capt....said.

Now most of you can probably figure out what this is referring to since it mentions that it happened last night.  Others may not.  I guess my point here is that it doesn't matter where or when this happened, only that it did. 

This could be Montreal after they beat the Penguins in the Eastern Conference Semi Finals.  This could be Montreal after they lost to the Flyers in the Eastern Conference Finals.  This could be Montreal after they allowed their only reason for being there in the first place to be traded to St. Louis for some beaver pelts and small pox infested blankets. 

But, alas...it's not.  Instead, it's just another example of ugly Lakers fans with entitlement issues that can't hold their liquor. 

Boy was that a strangely, bizarre way of getting to the underlying issue that Pierre Gauthier is either the biggest moron to ever call himself a GM or some kind of evil genius.  Either way, it's the Carey Price show again in Montreal while the Blues get an upgrade in the net from streaky Chris Mason.  Here's hoping the spotlight on Price brings some interest back to his hobby presence.

Here are some other photos for your enjoyment from the AP.