The REAL National Primer: All You Need To Know That No One Tells You

If you are in the hobby, on social media, or have a pulse at all, you are probably already well aware that the 44th National Sports Collectors Convention is being held this coming week, July 24-28th at the I-X Center in Cleveland, OH. This will be the 34th National that I have not attended and with all my experience in going to the shows, I thought I would join the thousands of others and offer you my advice for attending the show. The difference? This list is THE DEFINITIVE LIST and you won't need to read or watch any other blog post, social media rambling, YouTube video, or anything else. So without further adieu, I give you, The Real DFG's National Sports Collector's Convention Tips.

Footwear

I know it sounds quite simple but whether you are going for one day or all five, exploring all 420,000 square feet of space in the I-X Center may do a number on your chosen footwear. So my advice to you is, don't wear any. That's right. Go barefoot. Look, you weren't born wearing shoes and chances are, you didn't learn to walk wearing shoes either. There's no reason to go complicating things by trying to decide what type of shoes are going to look most fashionable in front of the thousands of other people around you. Just don't wear them at all and you will be the talk of the town. 

If you need to match an outfit (assuming you even decide to wear clothes), stop by your local discount store and grab a few nice nail polish colors. The more obnoxious, the better. I mean, who doesn't love all the trading card sale pictures that dominate the internet predominantly featuring the feet of the sellers? That answer is a clearly, nobody, and it's been a proven method to higher sales.

If you get tired? No problem. Head over by corporate sponsor Topps area, where for many years past, they've installed carpet. This isn't your average pile density, amateur stuff either. This is the plushiest, blood-red colored carpet you've ever run your little tootsies over. Set your stuff down and do your best Marit Bjorgen or Gunde Svan impression and take a few laps around their area. That should be enough to rejuvenate and give those dogs a second wind.

 

Brown bags, Bookbags, or Backpacks?

Attending the biggest show of the year, you will inevitably accumulate quite a bit of stuff, especially if you're a five day'er. So how to you carry all those awesome items around for hours on end? The real question you should be asking here is not about logistics, comfort or practicality. You'll quickly learn that the majority of your hobby brethren (or sistren?) will be armed with trading card quivers branded with names like Strongway, Phenyx, Casematix, Titan, Pannoply, or Prezza. (DM for sponsorship) Do you want to be just another nobody in a slice of lemmings or do you want to be top cheese in a bloat of hippopotami? There is clearly only one choice here.

My best recommendation...a steel garden cart. If you don't already have one of these out in the shed, in the garage, or slowly oxidizing somewhere out in the yard, head over to Amazon and you can pick one up for probably under $100 and have it by showtime. These are fantastic. Not only will they easily hold all your stuff but they are big enough that you can ride them like a rolling canoe, navigating the human waters that you'll encounter. Plus, as an added bonus, with their 500lb capacity for carrying stuff, they can easily be used as a battering ram (or as I like to call it, Ankle Bumper Cars), for when you just gotta get to the front row to see all the amazing cases of post-covid base card slabs. 

 

Hygiene?

Speaking of getting to the front row, just like at a concert, some areas of the show floor are going to be, as the kids say, "from nuts to butts". That means, lots and lots of humans within a few fractions of an inch of each other. If you're a quarter-box connoisseur like myself, you are going to want to spend a lot of time at these dealer tables looking for PC gems. So how do you manage to get to those premium table positions without being the first one in the show everyday? Easy.

Avoid bathing for a few days prior to the show. Whether you're a five day'er or just heading to the show for the weekend, I would recommend for best results to start tomorrow, especially if you are driving to the show. If you're flying, probably wait until you get to Cleveland before starting this preparation so the Air Marshall's don't escort you off the plane. If you are one of the lucky ones without much of a natural effervescence, I would suggest heading downtown to distribute "Free Hugs" in one of the tent cities. That should ripen you up nicely. But do not, under any circumstances, brush your teeth or put on deodorant. This is the biggest show of the year, remember? You have to be at your peak if you want first dibs on the best stuff.

Cash Is King, Or Is It?

If you've ever gone to a card show before, you already know that cash is generally the way to go. That's been the tried and true method of payment at in-person events for years. But who wants to carry around all that antiquated currency in 2024? If you still lug around a wallet full of dead presidents on green paper, you are doing it wrong.

Instead, make a statement and go completely cashless. That's right. Digital currency only. This is, after-all, the future of transacting in the world. Since we aren't quite at the point where hobby shops and retailers can run retinal scanning and deduct funds direct from our bank accounts, those dealers will certainly appreciate your adaptability and forward thinking in using only apps on your phone. Paypal, CashApp, Zelle, and Venmo should be your go to forms of payment each and every time. $700 prospect card of a player that's never (and has already had three Tommy John surgeries) played? Zelle it! $80 wax box of 1989 Donruss? CashApp that bad boy! Found one card in a 3 for $1 bin? Uh, Venmo please! 

But if you really want to be cutting edge and get in on the ground level...crypto. Dealers will jump at the chance of receiving cryptocurrency in exchange for their wares. Whether it's Bitcoin, Ethereum, Tether, Dogecoin, or whatever you may have, take that virtual money and put it on the virtual table. Don't have any of those yet? Then offer to trade your NFTs for the cards you want. I have it on good authority that is the preferred method at all of the predominantly vintage tables. You can thank me later.  

Stay Hydrated, My Friends

Concessions at any event tend to cost an unreasonable amount of money. Sometimes food and beverage costs far outweigh the price of admission. The National is generally no exception. Most venues have multiple locations to buy a pop or hotdog, a bag of chips, or water. I'm sure the I-X Center will be no different. But you can save yourself a lot of headaches by bringing your own beverage.

That's right. I'm talking about taking your own water bottle...emptying it out of whatever liquid is in it, and filling it with your favorite clear alcohol. All the "clears" make for a great alternative to H2O, like gin, tequila silver, vodka, rum or Everclear. As the days wear on, you'll stay invigorated and hydrated at the same time. Plus, the dealers and other people you interact with will appreciate your lively attitude and spunky behavior you'll inevitably be displaying throughout the show. It will also help you make the best decisions when it comes to buying and you'll most certainly walk away knowing you are hobbying at your best.

 

These are just a few tips to make the most of your experience at the National. Other, less important, but potentially impactful tips include:

• Call it Nationals instead of the National. People love that more.
• Comps are so last year. Paying full sticker price is where it's at. No one likes negotiators and sticker price is already the best price anyway. Just ask the dealers, they'll tell you.
  
• If dealers, although it will be rare, have bad pricing or stale inventory, be sure to tell them. They all love constructive criticism.
• Video record everything on your phone. Everything. No exceptions. If it doesn't look good on playback, have everyone reset and do it again until you get the most authentic video diary possible to show those of us that couldn't be there. 
• Take many, many pictures of piles of cash on top of display cases. People like to see the silly folks that still use paper money.
  

If you can work any of these tips into your adventure, you will be sure to create memories you'll have forever and that everyone will talk about for years to come. 

Happy collecting!

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